Искусство быть несовершенным. Как полюбить и принять себя настоящего - Эллен Хендриксен

Как настоящий книжный червь, я выражаю благодарность библиотекам Бостонского университета и Кембриджской публичной библиотеке.

Я выражаю искреннюю благодарность моим клиентам. Хотя я не могу нарушить конфиденциальность и назвать ваши имена, знайте, что ваша смелость, стойкость и открытость очень сильно вдохновили меня. Спасибо, что позволили мне быть частью вашей жизни и многому меня научили. Эта книга – свидетельство вашей силы и роста.

Мои родители, Шэрон и Дэн Хендриксен, и брат Стивен Хендриксен появляются в книге совсем ненадолго, но их присутствие в жизни и поддержка постоянны. Сюзанна Парк бесконечно делилась своим временем и гостеприимством. Эта книга не могла появиться без поддержки, любви и легкости Николаса, Адриена и Дэвина Карриеров. Я люблю вас всех.

Каждому читателю и слушателю (от слушателей первого эпизода подкаста «Опытный психолог» (Savvy Psychologist) до совершенно новых читателей) я говорю спасибо от всего сердца. Вы – движущая сила каждого написанного слова. Я так благодарна, что вы позволили мне проделать этот путь вместе с вами.

Об авторе

Эллен Хендриксен – клинический психолог в Центре тревожности и связанных с ней расстройств Бостонского университета, автор книги Социальная тревожность: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. Ее работы освещались в том числе в The New York Times, The Washington Post, BBC News, New York, The Guardian, Harvard Business Review, Scientific American и Psychology Today. Эллен живет в Бостоне вместе с семьей.

Источники

Пролог

1. Neal Gabler, Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination (New York: Knopf, 2006).

2. Erin Glover, “Opening Night, 1937: ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ Premieres at Carthay Circle Theatre,” Disney Parks Blog, December 21, 2011, https://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2011/12/opening-night-1937-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarfs-premieres-at-carthay-circle-theatre/.

3. Wikipedia, s.v. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 Film),” accessed January 7, 2024, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Snow_White_and_the_Seven_Dwarfs_(1937_film)&oldid=1194158663.

4. “Josie Carey Interview, by Karen Herman for The Interviews: 25 Years,” Television Academy, July 23, 1999, http://televisionacademy.com/interviews.

5. Maxwell King, The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers (New York: Abrams, 2018).

6. Jonathan V. Last, “Mr. Rogers’ Legacy: 895 Episodes of Lessons,” Philadelphia Inquirer, Just 12, 2011, https://www.inquirer.com/philly/opinion/currents/20110612_Mr__Rogers__legacy__895_episodes_of_lessons.html.

7. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, directed by Morgan Neville (Los Angeles: Tremolo Productions, 2018).

8. “Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (2018) – Mister Rogers & Jeff Erlanger Scene (8/10),” YouTube video, 3:23, posted by Movieclips, January 10, 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USWXF1XW2zo.

9. “Fred Rogers Inducted into the TV Hall of Fame,” YouTube video, 5:59, posted by Julian Park, April 9, 2012, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcNxY4TudXo.

10. “Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (2018) – Officer Clemmons Scene (5/10),” YouTube video, 2:41, posted by Movieclips, January 10, 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6O_Ep9bY0U.

11. François S. Clemmons, Officer Clemmons: A Memoir (New York: Catapult, 2021).

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13. “Koko the Gorilla Meets Mister Rogers (Mr. McFeely Interview),” YouTube video, 3:44, posted by December 22, 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93gCILhqIvA.

14. Marc H. Hollender, “Perfectionism,” Comprehensive Psychiatry 6, no. 2 (1965): 94–103, https://doi.org/10.1016/s0010-440x(65)80016–5.

15. Carmen Iranzo-Tatay et al., “Genetic and Environmental Contributions to Perfectionism and Its Common Factors,” Psychiatry Research 230, no. 3 (2015): 932–39, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2015.11.020.

16. Jason S. Moser et al., “Etiologic Relationships Between Anxiety and Dimensions of Maladaptive Perfectionism in Young Adult Female Twins: Twins, Anxiety, and Perfectionism,” Depression and Anxiety 29, no. 1 (2012): 47–53, https://doi.org/10.1002/da.20890.

17. Martin M. Smith et al., “Perfectionism and the Five-Factor Model of Personality: A Meta-Analytic Review,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 23, no. 4 (2019): 367– 90, https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868318814973.

18. Federica Tozzi et al., “The Structure of Perfectionism: A Twin Study,” Behavior Genetics 34, no. 5 (2004): 483–94, https://doi.org/10.1023/b: bege.0000038486.47219.76.

19. Tracey D. Wade and Cynthia M. Bulik, “Shared Genetic and Environmental Risk Factors between Undue Influence of Body Shape and Weight on Self- Evaluation and Dimensions of Perfectionism,” Psychological Medicine 37, no. 5 (2007): 635, https://doi.org/10.1017/s0033291706009603.

20. Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough (New York: Scribner, 2023).

21. Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill, “Perfectionism Is Increasing over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences from 1989 to 2016,” Psychological Bulletin 145, no. 4 (2019): 410– 29, https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138.

22. A. Hill and M. Grugan, “Introducing Perfectionistic Climate,” Perspectives on Early Childhood Psychology and Education 4, no. 2 (2020): 263–76.

Дополнительные источники:

• “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood Death of a Gold Fish 1101.” Vimeo video, posted January 28, 2016. https://vimeo.com/153417661 (page discontinued).

• Frank S. Nugent, “The Music Hall Presents Walt Disney’s Delightful Fantasy, ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’– Other New Films at Capitol and Criterion,” New York Times, January 14, 1938.

1. Как мы видим себя

23. Joachim Stoeber and Kathleen Otto, “Positive Conceptions of Perfectionism: Approaches, Evidence, Challenges,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 10, no. 4 (2006): 295–319, https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr1004_2.

24. Angela L. Duckworth et al., “Who Does Well in Life? Conscientious Adults Excel in Both Objective and Subjective Success,” Frontiers in Psychology 3 (2012), https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2012.00356.

25. John Wesley, A Plain Account of Christian Perfection (1777) by: John Wesley (North Charleston, SC: CreateSpace, 2017); Online Etymology Dictionary, s.v. “Conscientious,” accessed October 22, 2023, https://www.etymonline.com/word/conscientious.

26. Douglas B. Samuel et al., “A Five-Factor Measure of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Traits,” Journal of Personality Assessment 94, no. 5 (2012): 456–65, https://doi.org/10.1080/00223891.2012.677885/.

27. Nathan T. Carter et al., “The Downsides of Extreme Conscientiousness for Psychological Well- being: The Role of Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies” Journal of Personality 84, no. 4 (2016): 510–22, https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12177/.

28. Raymond Bernard Cattell and Paul Kline, Scientific Analysis of Personality and Motivation (San Diego: Academic Press, 1977).

29. Murray W. Enns and Brian J. Cox, “The Nature and Assessment of Perfectionism: A Critical Analysis,” in Perfectionism: Theory, Research, and Treatment, ed. G. L. Flett and P. L. Hewitt (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2002), 33–62.

30. Paul L. Hewitt and Gordon L. Flett, “When Does Conscientiousness Become Perfectionism? Traits, Self-Presentation Styles, and Cognitions Suggest a Persistent Psychopathology,” Current Psychiatry 6, no. 7 (2007): 49–60.

31. Roz Shafran, Zafra Cooper, and Christopher G. Fairburn, “Clinical Perfectionism: A Cognitive-Behavioural Analysis,” Behaviour Research and Therapy 40, no. 7 (2002): 773–91, https://doi.org/10.1016/s0005-7967(01)00059-6.

32. Роз Шафран, из беседы с автором, 13.12.2021.

33. P. L. Hewitt and G. L. Flett, “Perfectionism in the Self and Social Contexts: Conceptualization, Assessment, and Association with Psychopathology,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 60, no. 3 (1991): 456–70, https://doi.org/10.1037/0022–3514.60.3.456.

34. Thomas Curran, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough (New York: Scribner, 2023).

35. Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill, “Perfectionism Is Increasing over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences from 1989 to 2016,” Psychological Bulletin